MANLY Sports

There have been far too many sissy sports allowed into the Olympics, and personally, I'm weary of it. I say it's time to beef up the agenda a bit with a few more MANLY sports. Here are some suggestions.

• Hitting other MEN in the face as hard as you can. Oh wait, they already have that sport.


• Throwing truck tires over a building—an activity popular in the deep south among MEN named Bubba.


• Murdering animals—a perennial favorite of MANLY MEN who live in wooded areas.


• Drinking so much so fast you throw up—quite popular with the college crowd


• Projectile gas-passing.


• Crashing cars.


• Finally, for the more intellectually inclined MANLY MEN: marathon cussing.