Can You Guess How Oold I Am?

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Have you ever noticed how some older people like to tell you their age? It seems I've reached that point in life where I'm anxious to tell people my age, sometimes looking for excuses to do so. It's a pretty sorry state to be in — not being the age I am, but being so anxious to tell others about it, as though there were something special about it.

(Crackly old man voice.) Let me tell you how ooold I am!

SCENE: Lynn meets a young dude at the track.

Lynn: How ya doin'?

Dude: Not bad. You?

Lynn: Okay. I'm aching, though. Can't run like I used to, you know.

Dude: I guess I can see why.

Lynn: Yep. Gettin' too oold I guess.

Dude: Happens to everyone, eh?

Lynn: Yep. Do you have any idea how ooold I am?

Dude: Haven't a clue.

Lynn: Guess.

Dude: Oh, I couldn't. Got no idea.

Lynn: Go on, just guess.

Dude: How would I know?

Lynn: Just guess!!

Dude: Seventy-three.

Lynn: I'm sixty-seven years old!

Dude: That's amazing. I never would have guessed.

Lynn: Yep, and I feel it every day.

Dude: I suppose so. Happens to everyone, eh?

Lynn: Believe it or not, I used to be able to run nine-minute miles!

Dude: Ooh.

Lynn: Can't do that any more, of course. Doubt that I ever will.

Dude: I suppose not.

Lynn: Training now just to get back in shape, maybe do another ultra or two.

Dude: Groovy.

Lynn: Did I mention how ooold I am?

Dude: I think you may have mentioned it. What was it? Seventy-two?

Lynn: I'm sixty-seven years old!

Dude: That's amazing. I never would have guessed. Look, I've gotta ...

Lynn: What did you say you're training for?

Dude: I didn't.

Lynn: So what are you training for?

Dude: The Olympic Marathon trials.

Lynn: Cool! Couple of years ahead of schedule, aren't you?

Dude: But I've got a long way to go.

Lynn: What's your PR?

Dude: 2:14:30

Lynn: Sounds like you'll make it.

Dude: Sure hope to. Errr, as I started to say ...

Lynn: Want a tip from an old-timer?

Dude: Ummm. Oh sure, why not?

Lynn: Don't go out too fast. I see all these kids jump off the start early and then die early in the race.

Dude: Got it. I'll try to remember that. Thanks.

Lynn: Take it from me. I'm sixty-seven years old, y'know, and have seen a thing or two in my day.

Dude: Sixty-seven? That's amazing. I never would have guessed.